Unconscious Oppression

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, by Peggy McIntosh, is a thought-provoking essay about how “whites are carefully taught not to recognize white privilege, as males are taught not to recognize male privilege.” Being a non-white woman (Amer-Asian with the “Amer” being German, Irish and Puerto Rican, and the Asian being Korean), I have the “privilege” of observing both white, male, and white male privilege on a day to day basis. I feel I can speak from the perspective of observing white male privilege first hand.

I work at an ethnically diverse university that prides itself on its diverse student body; however, the diversity in its higher administration and the work groups I must interact with to perform my job, is ALL white male. Fortunately, the group with whom I immediately work is diverse - the College of Science. I am one of three female “administrative faculty” members. One woman is an Associate Dean, the other two, including myself are Directors. The remaining five administrative faculty members are men: the dean is of Asian-Indian descent; an African American development director and the remaining three associate deans are white males. Diversity gets interesting when one considers the College’s make up of academic members or department chairs. We have only two female department chairmen, the remaining 6 are white men. Despite this imbalance between race and gender, I feel comfortable within my college and within my role.

Ironically, it is when I am dealing with other administrative groups or upper administration personnel that I feel the effects of white privilege and white male privilege. The sciences are male dominated; however, the faculty and staff are ethnically diverse. I am very happy to observe and to participate with internal discussions on how to diversify our student body - we have a ways to go, but it is interesting to hear the debate and conversations at staff meetings. Fortunately, the College just received a substantial grant to recruit a more diverse body of students. Naturally, more people will have to be hired to manage this - and the proof will be in the pudding, when it comes time to hire the "fresh blood" to manage and implement this recruitment. If we are going to actually recruit more women and ethnically diverse students, then we need to walk the walk and talk the talk... But that's altogether another issue, let's talk about the white and white male dominance at this "diverse" university...

As Peggy McIntosh relays, "White privilege is like an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, maps, passports, code books, visas, clothes, tools and blank checks." From a work/career perspective here at Mason, my personal knapsack is missing a major tool - if you will- I am missing a penis. Although, I do firmly believe that my balls are much bigger than some of the men I have to work with.

The conditions I must confront on a daily basis at work are probably very similar to some of the same conditions other women and some people of color (including us "mixed" types) must face every day:

1. I can count on being one of a handful of women in an executive level meeting here at Mason.
2. I am typically the most "ethnically diverse" person present.
3. I have only one African American counter-part...never mind other ethnicities, et cetera (remember - this is within the university's administration - not the college level).
4. When I walk around construction sites (because I help my college plan for new facilities) in my "sensible shoes" and hard hat, some of the men I encounter wonder if I am a lesbian.
5. In meetings, my comments or suggestions are listened too, but shrugged off, ignored or even questioned...they are not taken seriously. What do women know anyway, especially in this area of development, planning and construction?
6. A male can restate the comments or suggestions I (or another woman makes), and they are listened to more seriously. (Makes me crazy angry sometimes!)
7. If I lose my temper and get irritated, I am perceived as a bitch, overbearing, trying to be like a man, or defensive.
8. An immediate assumption made about me is that I am an administrative assistant who works for one of the men in the meeting.
9. I am volunteered to take meeting notes if an administrative assistant is not present to do so. If I protest, then I am told it is because I have nicer handwriting...so, I take crappy and sloppy notes.
10. When I work with another female project manager on a construction project, we are second guessed as not having a technical understanding or knowledge of the science behind the project.
11. One particular administrator will not speak to me directly because I am not on his “level” (title-wise) and prefers to speak to my dean, even after my dean designated me as the point of contact. He is a white male who hires men who look like him and act like him. (I always sit next to him at meetings so he HAS to acknowledge me; not to would be rude!).
12. Today, a friend of mine told me that she received a glowing referral from someone (a male co-worker) who said that she is “positive and level-headed – very unusual in women today!” I chastised her for not giving me as a reference; but she felt she need to provide a male reference to be taken seriously.
14. My demeanor, statements, and so forth are a reflection of ALL women in my line of work.
15. I must accept discrimination because it is part of "being a part of the workforce today!" Oh gee - thanks, how generous of you white male world of university administration!

There are many days I come home thoroughly frustrated as I relay my day sitting in a meeting full of good 'ol white boys, feeling every bit the token female. I have almost become immune to the condescension in their voices - some days I take it and other days I rip back viciously - enough already! Why does this have to be so hard? I have changed the way I dress, carry myself and altered my appearance to "blend in" more with these men. There are days I just think, "screw 'em, and then some," and I put on some makeup, wear heals and a skirt - I'm a smart, successful and business savvy woman - fricken deal with it.

My past and present experiences have pissed me off enough to make me want to make changes - to lessen it and/or end it...albeit, slowly and methodically. I consider myself an ambassodor for women at the University; therefore, I purposefully try to mentor women who want to do what I do or who want to be in this field. My tools for their knapsack are:

1. Be yourself and be true to yourself.
2. Never try to be like one of the guys. See item 1.
3. You may not have a penis, but you may have bigger balls...take risks. Put yourself out there!
4. Do NOT second guess yourself. If you make a mistake, so what - acknowledge it and move on.
5. If you do not agree or like something, speak up.
6. Pass it on to other women...

Amazingly, the topic of "white privilege" is still written about - with references back to this classic article written in 1988. I read some of these articles about white privilege, especially the ones that may disagree that such a thing even exists. However, what is evident, the vestiges of white privilege does exist and comes in many forms from careers, socio-economic status and so forth. White privilege is a legacy that has had far reaching impact. Raising our daily consciousness is the first step to addressing the subtle and hidden nature of this phenomena. What we do with this awareness is critical and is something I am learning, refining and implementing...every day I go to work.