My Cajita - Part II

So, my cajita has the following items - important items that are reminders of my cultural identity...if you read my first blog, this will make more sense at it may help put somethings into context:

Childhood
A very small porcelain doll in traditional Spanish attire (a purple gown with veil). The doll is from the early 1900's. This was a gift from my Grandmother upon my birth. My grandfather wanted her to give it to me because he wanted me to know that even though I was "colored" (mixed) - I had some Spanish in me.

This was the only doll I had until I went into the 2nd grade.

The 2nd doll I have is a home-made Holly Hobby doll that my mother made for me in the 2nd grade. Growing up, I was not allowed to have "baby dolls." I used wonder why when, in high school, my mother finally explained to me that she did not like for me to have dolls because they reminded her of some of the dead bodies see saw during the Korean War. She was a young child and living through the war was a horrifying and life altering experience for her. Hearing the stories of the war, and the fact that my mom overcame her fear of dolls to make a doll for me - has stayed with me.

I also have two of my schoolbooks from Korean kindergarten (I went to Kindergarten in Korea). I was bi-lingual in Korean and English until we returned to the U.S. Because of my age(I had to repeat Kindergarten in the U.S. - there was also an assumption made that I would struggle with English and socializing). How crazy is that?! Also, interesting to note is that in Korea - the 9 months spent in your mother's womb counts as a year - so when I went to Kindergarten in Korea, I was only 4, but in Korean age - I was 5.

Anyway, when I was in Kindergarten in the U.S., I was fortunate to have a wonderful teacher named Ms. Lovejoy. She asked me to "write a book" with her to recount my experience in Korea, and then I got to read it to my classmates. It was a wonderfully positive experience that has stayed with me.

Personal BeliefsMy father was raised as a Catholic and my mother was raised as a Buddhist with Confucian principals. I was raised in a very non-religious family; however, there was a great deal of emphasis on Buddhism and Confucianism. I therefore have a copy of The Teachings of Buddha in my cajita. I also have a rose bead prayer bracelet, as well as a home-made crown of thorns that I made in Catholic school (I went to a private Catholic school from grades 6-8).

I think the most interesting part of this exercise was the fact that we had to put together a cajita, but when I sat down to think about what to put into it, I realized, I had already made one and have carried it with me since young adulthood.

When I graduated from college, my mother and father gave me a beautiful antique persimmon wood box. The interior of the box is lined with rice paper that has the family history (my mother's) lining the interior. This box traveled with my mother and her family through the Korean war. This is one of the few things from her family that survived the war - there are no family pictures, passed-down jewelry, dishes, clothing, etc., that one would expect to have.

I also have some black horse hair in a braid. My Korean grandfather used to have a topknot (he had long hair that he put into a bun on top of his head). This hairstyle was a symbol of "yangban" or educated class - he was educated and a government worker - held in high regard in the late 1800's. Over his head, he wore a black hat that covered the bun - the hat was made of horse hair. When the Japanese took over and colonized Korea, they made Korean men cut off their hair. My grandfather refused to do that so the Japanese military arrested him, took his horse hair hat and destroyed it, as well as cut ALL of his hair off in front of all of the villagers in the town where my mother was born - Yongdong Po. The story always fascinated me. I knew my grandfather as a child and have a pair of his chopsticks also in my persimmon cajita. Back in the day, heads of households took their dinner privately - their wife or oldest daughter served dinner, and then retreated so they could eat alone. I was allowed to eat with him however... Back then I took that for granted - after all, was only 4 years old - I did not appreciate the honor of that until recently.

I definitely relate more to my "Korean side" because this side of the family welcomed me (and my father) and wanted me to feel a part of the family. Because of my father's father's racism, disapproval of my father's marriage, and so forth, I did not get to know my father's side of the family until I finally met my grandmother 12 years ago (after my grandfather passed). Unfortunately, she is dying now but I was able to become friends and visit her from time to time. I saw her one last time last week, and got to enjoy more stories of her family and upbringing during the Great Depression, get her family recipes, see mementos and so on. I hope to learn more and embrace more - my Spanish, German and Irish heritage - in the years to come.