My Family Background - Cajita Search Part I

Since I was not able to present my cajita due to a trip out of town, thought I'd bring you my "virtual" cajita, but first some background...

I was born in Tucson, AZ in 1967. My father was an English teacher in Korea...teaching English at the Korean Bank, where my mother worked. They met and secretly dated for several months before my father had to go back to the U.S. to finish college. Much to both families' dismay, they were married in Seoul, Korea in June 1965.

My father is of German-Irish and Puerto Rican descent, born in Mesa, AZ. His father is Puerto Rican, but was born in New York in 1918. My father's mother, Grace, was a nurse, who was born in Little Rock Arkansas in 1917.

My father's parents (especially his father) did not approve of my father marrying an Asian woman. He felt that she was "colored" and did not think races should mix. My father's relationship with his father (which was already bad) only got worse. His mother could only follow her husband's lead. My father's siblings, however, accepted my mother and did what they could to make her feel welcome.

My mother was born in Seoul, Korea and was the youngest of 9 children. She and her siblings and parents survived the Korean War which was from 1951-1953. Little did I know that my mother's experience during the war would have a huge impact on my childhood. My mother's family did not accept my father as they also did not believe in mixing the races...especially whites. The marriage was looked upon with great shame and embarrassment; therefore, it was a relief that my mother moved to the U.S.- away from the family so they would not have to live with the shame.

After I was born, my mother's family embraced all of us and we had a wonderful homecoming to Korea when I was three years old, and again when I was four. My father was getting his PhD in East Asian History and was doing research in Seoul, Korea. It was during this time that my cultural identity took strong hold.

My father's parents never accepted us, except for my grandmother, who 12 years ago (at the age of 82) left my grandfather. We became acquainted and our relationship grew into a very strong friendship. She remains in AZ - and is dying. I said goodbye to her last week (at her request). She wanted to see me before she could no longer function as she recognizes that she is losing her strength.

This background is the context for the items that are in my cajita.